What is like having an interracial family? When I wrote this I didn’t really know how it would make me feel to share or how to even word my post. So, when I was growing up, never in a million years I thought I would be married to someone from another race and culture, let alone procreate! Here we are, almost 14 years later and there are many things I’ve learned about interracial and intercultural relationships and families.

I am 100% born and raised Puerto Rican (meaning I didn’t move to NYC until I was an adult). My husband is half Filipino and half Trinidadian. He is first generation born and raised in the states. He’s only lived in NYC. Growing up for both of us was completely different to say the least. I think the biggest difference is that, he has been exposed to millions of cultures all his life, while honestly, I wasn’t so exposed to anything but my own, until I moved here. When we started dating so many people asked me what would I do if my kids came out looking differently (my husband is black).

I didn’t really think this would be an issue, until my kids were born. And then everything changed. Of course, like with everything there is good and bad. I don’t know if there is a better way to explain so here it goes.

THE BAD:

1. The LOOKS. People don’t realize that sometimes the way you look at someone has weight. See, my oldest is the darkest. He is a deep caramel color (best way I can describe), with thick short hair, while the other 2 are my skin tone with curly hair. I always just give them a look and ignore it, but definitely bothers me.

2. When people say “they really look a like”. Well no shit, they’re siblings, so yeah. What’s your point?

3. When people ask if we’re married. I don’t know why this is asked. But I guess because my husband is black and I am Hispanic they think that we have children out of wedlock and are “living in sin”. People really need to start minding their own business.

4. “Oh but he looks just like his dad”. Because they have the same skin tone? Take another look. The lighter 2 kids are a carbon copy of my MIL!! My first one is all me! This also leads to “is he adopted? or are you babysitting?”

5. Figuring out how to raise our children. This is hard because we grew up so differently, so we go back and forth trying to compromise on which way is better and would be the most beneficial to our kids. My oldest is in Pre-K and we’ve been debating for about 2 years already if we are letting him take the subway by himself when he turns 10 or 12 or never- the last being my option!

THE GOOD:

1. My kids are exotic! They don’t fill a cookie mold of a Hispanic or white or black kid. They have their own “je ne sais quoi”.

2. We are more open to other cultures. Because we already have such a mix that it just comes natural to have multicultural and multiracial friends. This wasn’t easy for me when I moved to the states, it was hard to understand other people that were different. It took a lot of growth.

3. My pregnancies were beyond exciting. Each pregnancy was so exciting because we had no idea who our kids would look like. It was such a surprise because genetics were so different with the first 2 but almost identical withe the 2nd and 3rd. If I put baby pictures of #2 and #3 I can’t tell them apart (Except for earrings and pink pajamas!)

4. The kids get the best of different worlds.  They know some Spanish, but have a grandma who speaks Tegalog and will eat arroz con habichuelas, but also pancit and lumpias.

5. It’s exciting. There is nothing more exciting than diversity and this is what we try to teach them and celebrate with our lives. There is so much ignorance in the World even in this day and age that it’s crazy to think that someone can still be prejudice.

Obviously this is only my family’s experience. I think it definitely helps to ease the cons because we live in New York City, which is probably the most culturally diverse city in the WORLD. If I could do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. When I get approach with a negative remark from my cons list is usually in the suburbs (I spend a lot of time in Long Island) or in non-diverse neighborhoods. It is exciting and I love to be different. There is nothing about our family that I would change. Each of my children have something so special and unique about them and that is thanks to the different racial characteristics of their dad and I. Plus most importantly love is really blind. It doesn’t see color.